Who knew you could have a classy bottomless brunch?
Here we thought it was all about drinking as much Prosecco as you can in two hours (with minimal orange juice added to make morning drinking acceptable) while quickly scoffing down some accompanying eggs Benny.
It was something we delighted in when we were in our early 20s – but deem ourselves too respectable to partake in any longer.
Thankfully, M Threadneedle Street has created a more grown up version of the traditional messy bottomless brunch. Cheap Prosecco is replaced with a huge assortment of high-end cocktails while food offerings are broken into two big courses rather than just one.
But they don’t end the changes there. The entire menu has also been split up into two different sections – the beauties and their more beastly counterparts.
It may seem a little heteronormative, but it is still a fun theme to play with.
Under the umbrella of beauties lie the lighter, fruitier and sweeter tipples. Start off with a peach Bellini, Cosmopolitan or Martini before trying some of the more rich and heavy options. The beastly drinks do certainly outperform the other list, but you can pick and choose from either side.
We all contain both beauty and beast qualities, so it is only fair we don’t have to stick to just one or the other.
Choose from either a classic Negroni, an Espresso Martini, a tart Whisky Sour or a simple Old Fashion. See how many you can get through in one 90-minute seating.
For feasting options, we recommend starting off with a lighter beauty dish before taking part two from the heartier beast section. Start off with a traditional smashed avocado on toast with poached eggs or change things up a little by tucking into the sashimi or burrata alternatives.
This might seem like enough food for a simple brunch, but the M Restaurants team won’t settle for good enough – this is meant to be a proper indulgence.
That’s why you have the second course option which certainly exists to soak up some of those unlimited cocktails. The croque madame is a cheese lover’s dream and the burger will hit all the right spots as well. But the 550-gram tomahawk steak is simply next level – it is a beast of a feast.
It comes served on a wooden board with the massive bone still attached. It was about as long as our arm. And they cut up the steak before it reaches the table, so you don’t even have to hack away at it yourself.
Getting through both the giant steak and a starter is an impressive feat, but bottomless brunches are all about overindulgence. You come to over eat and over drink during the day. Fully embrace this challenge but don’t get too carried away.
After all, you are sitting within a stunning luxury restaurant in the heart of the City of London, right by Bank station. But, for brunch, they section off a part of the restaurant and bar to make it a little more laid back. Inside diners will find a miniature billiards table plus foosball.
That way they can move around and play some games after finishing a strictly timed 90-minute experience.
The only thing that threw us off was the music. Throughout the entirety, a DJ played a long selection of top 50 pop songs on an unnecessarily high volume. The music seemed to cheapen the experience, even though it was clearly done to attract a younger and more lively audience. Next time we might just request some different tunes.
That way we can hold on to the elegance of this M Threadneedle Street bottomless brunch.
The Battle of the Brunches runs each Saturday from 11am-4pm. £55 includes two courses and bottomless drinks for 90 minutes.
